8 Difficult Conversations with Employees Examples for 2026

Managers often avoid difficult conversations. This hesitation harms team performance, erodes trust, and lets small issues grow into significant problems. The solution is not avoidance. It is preparation. This guide provides clear, actionable difficult conversations with employees examples for the most common tough talks you will face as a leader.

You will get structured scripts, proven frameworks like SBI (Situation, Behavior, Impact), and specific tips for handling sensitive topics from performance gaps to behavioral issues. Each example is a practical template you can adapt for your specific situation. A crucial element in preparing for any tough talk is ensuring you have strong foundations in core leadership abilities. Investing in effective communication skills training provides the confidence and tools needed to handle these discussions constructively.

Use these examples to turn stressful confrontations into productive, forward-looking outcomes. With the right approach, you can address issues directly, support your employees’ development, and maintain a healthy, high-performing team environment. This guide helps you prepare so you can lead with confidence and clarity, no matter the topic.

1. Performance Gap Conversation: Missing Deadlines and Quality Issues

Addressing a performance gap is one of the most common yet challenging discussions a manager has. This conversation tackles situations where an employee consistently fails to meet expectations, such as missing deadlines or delivering subpar work. The goal is to define the problem, uncover its root cause, and create a collaborative plan for improvement without demoralizing the employee.

This type of dialogue is crucial because unaddressed performance issues lower team morale, create bottlenecks, and damage client relationships. By approaching it constructively, you transform a negative situation into a developmental opportunity.

Example Scenario and Script

• Context: A marketing specialist, Alex, has missed the deadline for a key campaign report for the second time this quarter. The delay has affected the team’s ability to adjust its strategy.

Manager Script (Using SBI Model):

(Situation): "Hi Alex, thanks for meeting. I want to talk about the Q2 campaign performance report that was due on Tuesday."
(Behavior): "I noticed the report was submitted today, two days past the deadline. This also happened with the Q1 report last quarter."
(Impact): "When the report is delayed, the team cannot access the data needed to make timely decisions for our current campaigns. This directly affects our ability to optimize spending and hit our targets."

Strategic Breakdown

• State Facts, Not Judgments: The script avoids accusatory language like "You are always late." It focuses on objective, observable behaviors (the report was submitted two days late) and their concrete business consequences. This approach reduces defensiveness.
• Ask, Don't Assume: After presenting the impact, shift to inquiry. Ask open-ended questions like, "Can you walk me through what's been happening with these reports?" or "What challenges are you facing that are contributing to these delays?" This helps you distinguish between skill gaps, resource issues, or motivation problems.

Actionable Takeaways

• Set SMART Goals: Collaboratively define a clear, measurable goal. For example: "For the next campaign report, let's agree it will be submitted by 5 PM on the due date with all data sections complete."
• Schedule Check-Ins: Before the meeting ends, schedule a brief follow-up meeting a week before the next deadline to review progress. This shows your commitment to their success.
• Document Everything: Summarize the conversation, agreed-upon actions, and timelines in a follow-up email. This creates a clear record of expectations. If the issues persist, this documentation is essential for more formal steps.

2. Behavioral Feedback Conversation: Collaboration and Teamwork Issues

Addressing behavioral issues is vital for maintaining a healthy team environment. This conversation focuses on an employee's actions that negatively affect collaboration and team dynamics, even if their individual work is strong. The goal is to correct disruptive behavior and reinforce positive teamwork without making the employee feel personally attacked.

This dialogue is one of the more challenging difficult conversations with employees examples because it can feel personal. Unchecked negative behaviors like a dismissive attitude or information hoarding quickly erode trust, lower morale, and create a toxic culture.

Example Scenario and Script

• Context: A senior developer, Jordan, is highly productive but often dismisses junior team members' ideas during brainstorming sessions. This behavior is starting to discourage others from contributing.

Manager Script (Using SBI Model):

(Situation): "Hi Jordan, I wanted to chat about yesterday's project kickoff meeting for the new feature."
(Behavior): "During the brainstorming portion, when Sarah suggested an alternative approach, I observed you responded with 'that will never work' and immediately moved on."
(Impact): "When feedback is dismissive, it discourages junior team members from sharing their ideas. This limits our team's creativity and makes people feel their contributions are not valued. This is not the collaborative environment we want to build."

Strategic Breakdown

• Focus on Behavior, Not Personality: The script targets a specific, observable action ("you responded with 'that will never work'") instead of a personality trait ("you are arrogant"). This makes the feedback objective and less likely to provoke a defensive reaction.
• Explain the "Why": Clearly connect the behavior to its impact on the team and business goals. Explaining that it "limits our team's creativity" helps the employee understand the broader consequences of their actions beyond the immediate interaction.

Actionable Takeaways

• Define a New Behavior: Collaboratively set a clear expectation. For example: "In future meetings, if you disagree with an idea, I need you to first acknowledge the suggestion and then explain your technical concerns constructively."
• Provide Resources: After the discussion, ask how you can help. Suggest resources or training if needed.
• Follow Up with Observation: End the meeting by stating you will observe future team interactions to provide positive reinforcement when you see the new behavior. Document the conversation in a follow-up email outlining the agreed-upon changes.

3. Attendance and Reliability Conversation: Tardiness, Absences, and Punctuality

Addressing inconsistent attendance is a sensitive yet necessary task. This conversation focuses on patterns of tardiness, excessive unscheduled absences, or general unreliability that affect team productivity and fairness. The challenge is to enforce company policy while uncovering potential underlying issues that require support or accommodation.

This dialogue is important because unaddressed attendance problems lead to resentment among colleagues who have to cover for the absent employee. It also disrupts workflows and signals deeper issues like burnout or disengagement. A direct, supportive approach reinforces accountability and maintains team equity.

Example Scenario and Script

• Context: An employee, Jordan, has been arriving 15 to 20 minutes late to the office three times in the last two weeks. This causes the daily team stand-up meeting to start late.

Manager Script (Using SBI Model):

(Situation): "Hi Jordan, thanks for meeting. I wanted to check in about your arrival times this week and last."
(Behavior): "I noted you arrived after 9:15 AM on Monday, Tuesday, and last Thursday. Our team stand-up is scheduled for 9:00 AM."
(Impact): "When you are not here at the start, we either have to delay the meeting or proceed without your updates. This makes our daily planning less effective for everyone."

Strategic Breakdown

• Reference Policy and Data: Start by referring to factual data like dates and times. This grounds the conversation in objective information, not personal feelings. Referencing the company attendance policy reinforces that the expectation is standard for everyone.
• Create a Safe Space for Disclosure: After stating the impact, shift to an inquisitive and supportive tone. Ask, "Is there anything going on that I should be aware of?" This opens the door for the employee to share potential personal challenges, health issues, or other circumstances that are protected or require accommodation.

Actionable Takeaways

• Review Company Policy: Reiterate the specific expectations outlined in the employee handbook regarding punctuality and absence reporting. Ensure Jordan understands the procedure for notifying you if a delay is unavoidable.
• Explore Flexible Solutions: If a legitimate issue exists, explore solutions together. This might include a temporary adjustment to start times or a hybrid work arrangement, if company policy allows.
• Set a Clear Follow-Up Date: Agree on a specific timeframe to review progress. For example: "Let's check in again in two weeks to make sure the new plan is working and things are back on track." Document this plan in an email.

4. Conduct and Professionalism Conversation: Inappropriate Behavior or Language

Addressing unprofessional conduct is a sensitive but necessary task. This conversation handles situations where an employee uses inappropriate language, a disrespectful tone, or exhibits behavior that violates the company's code of conduct. The goal is to correct the behavior immediately, reinforce professional standards, and prevent future incidents without attacking the employee's character.

This type of dialogue is critical because unchecked unprofessionalism creates a toxic work environment, damages team psychological safety, and exposes the company to legal risks. A direct and private conversation upholds your commitment to a respectful workplace for everyone.

Example Scenario and Script

• Context: During a team meeting, an engineer, Ben, made a sarcastic and dismissive comment ("Well, that's a brilliant idea that will never work") after a junior team member, Sarah, presented a proposal. You noticed Sarah was visibly discouraged.

Manager Script (Using Direct Feedback):

(State Observation): "Hi Ben, I need to speak with you about a comment you made in this morning's team meeting. When Sarah was presenting her idea, you responded with, 'Well, that's a brilliant idea that will never work.'"
(Explain Impact): "Comments like that are dismissive and undermine our team's culture of psychological safety. We need everyone to feel comfortable sharing ideas, even early-stage ones. Your remark shut down the conversation and discouraged Sarah from contributing further."
(Set Expectation): "Going forward, I expect you to provide feedback constructively and respectfully, even when you disagree. All ideas deserve a professional critique, not sarcasm."

Strategic Breakdown

• Address It Immediately and Privately: The script is for a conversation held shortly after the incident. This immediacy reinforces the seriousness of the issue while a private setting prevents public embarrassment and further conflict.
• Quote the Behavior, Don't Interpret Intent: The manager quotes Ben's exact words. This avoids arguments about what he meant and focuses the conversation on the specific, unacceptable behavior and its observable impact on the team.

Actionable Takeaways

• Connect to Company Values: Frame the feedback around shared principles. For instance: "Our team agreement is built on respect, and that comment did not align with that value."
• Require an Apology if Needed: In this scenario, it would be appropriate to suggest or require that Ben apologizes to Sarah directly. This helps repair the immediate harm to team dynamics.
• Document the Conversation: Send a brief follow-up email summarizing the discussion and the stated expectation. This record is vital if the unprofessional conduct becomes a pattern and requires formal disciplinary action. This is a core part of learning how to have tough conversations with employees a manager's guide.

5. Underperformance During Probation or Transition: Role Fit Conversation

A role fit conversation addresses underperformance from a new hire, a recently promoted employee, or someone transitioning to a new team. This discussion happens early, often during a probationary period, to assess if the mismatch is due to a need for more support or a fundamental misalignment between the person and the role's requirements.

These difficult conversations with employees are critical for both the individual and the organization. Addressing role fit issues promptly prevents prolonged poor performance, protects team morale, and helps the employee find a position where they can succeed, whether inside or outside the company.

Example Scenario and Script

• Context: A newly promoted team lead, Sarah, is struggling with her new management responsibilities. Her direct reports have given feedback that she is micromanaging tasks and not providing clear strategic direction.

Manager Script (Using SBI Model):

(Situation): "Hi Sarah, I wanted to check in on your transition into the team lead role over the past 45 days."
(Behavior): "In our last team meeting, I observed you assigned specific, step-by-step tasks for the project launch instead of outlining the overall goals. I also received feedback from two team members who felt unclear on the project's 'why' but had very detailed instructions on the 'how'."
(Impact): "When the team does not understand the strategic goals, they have a harder time making independent decisions. This slows down progress and leads to a decrease in their sense of ownership and engagement."

Strategic Breakdown

• Reference Original Expectations: The conversation is framed around the transition into the new role and its specific demands. Referencing the original job description or promotion criteria helps ground the discussion in objective standards, not personal opinion.
• Focus on Fit, Not Failure: The goal is to evaluate the match between Sarah's skills and the role's needs. After stating the impact, ask questions like, "How are you feeling about the shift from doing the work to leading the work?" or "What parts of this new role energize you, and what parts feel like a struggle?" This opens a dialogue about whether the issue is a skills gap or a mismatch in work style and preference.

Actionable Takeaways

• Define Clear Success Metrics: Collaboratively set a 30-day plan with specific, observable goals. For example: "In our next three project meetings, you will present the strategic goals first, and we will see the team collaboratively define their own tasks to achieve them."
• Provide Targeted Support: Offer specific resources like a management mentor, a leadership training course, or weekly coaching sessions focused on delegation and strategic communication. This demonstrates your investment in their success.
• Discuss All Potential Outcomes: Be transparent. Explain that the goal is to get them succeeding in this role. Also be prepared to discuss alternatives if improvements are not met. These might include a move to a different role or an exit from the company.

6. Insubordination or Boundary-Crossing Conversation: Disregarding Direction

Addressing insubordination is one of the most critical and non-negotiable difficult conversations with employees examples. This discussion tackles an employee who intentionally disregards a clear instruction, bypasses the chain of command, or refuses to follow a reasonable directive. The goal is to firmly re-establish professional boundaries and clarify the serious consequences of such actions.

This dialogue is essential because unchecked insubordination undermines managerial authority, creates operational chaos, and sets a dangerous precedent for the entire team. A direct, professional approach is necessary to correct the behavior immediately and uphold organizational structure.

Example Scenario and Script

• Context: A project manager, Sarah, instructed a team member, Mark, to stop work on a low-priority feature and focus exclusively on a critical bug fix. Mark disagreed with the decision and continued working on the feature anyway, ignoring the direct instruction.

Manager Script (Using a Direct, Factual Approach):

(State the Expectation): "Hi Mark, thank you for meeting with me. I want to discuss the direction I gave you yesterday morning regarding the bug fix for the payment portal."
(Describe the Behavior): "My instruction was to pause all work on the new user profile feature and dedicate your time to resolving that critical bug. I saw from your commit logs you continued to work on the feature for several hours yesterday."
(Clarify the Impact and Seriousness): "Disregarding a direct instruction is a serious issue. When you do not follow a directive, it creates project risks and undermines the team's ability to prioritize urgent tasks. This is considered insubordination."

Strategic Breakdown

• Be Direct and Unequivocal: The script uses clear and unambiguous language like "My instruction was" and "This is considered insubordination." This is not a situation for soft-pedaling. The severity of the issue must be immediately apparent.
• Focus on the Act, Not the Person: The conversation centers on the specific, verifiable action (working on the feature) versus the instruction (work on the bug). It avoids making assumptions about Mark's motives and instead focuses on the unacceptable behavior itself.

Actionable Takeaways

• Establish Clear Consequences: State the outcome if the behavior is repeated. For example: "To be clear, any future instance of disregarding a direct instruction will result in formal disciplinary action, up to and including termination."
• Define the Proper Channel for Disagreement: Provide a constructive alternative. Say, "If you disagree with a directive in the future, the correct process is to discuss your concerns with me directly, not to ignore the instruction."
• Document Meticulously: After the conversation, send a follow-up email summarizing the discussion, the directive that was ignored, the expectations for future behavior, and the stated consequences. Involve HR as appropriate for your company's policy.

7. Confidentiality or Ethics Violation Conversation: Trust and Integrity Issues

Addressing an ethics or confidentiality breach is among the most severe and high-stakes conversations a manager will have. This dialogue confronts actions that break fundamental trust, such as sharing proprietary data, falsifying records, or creating a conflict of interest. The goal is to present the facts, understand the situation, and take decisive, appropriate action. This might include disciplinary measures up to termination.

This conversation is non-negotiable for maintaining a fair and secure work environment. Ignoring ethical violations erodes team integrity, exposes the company to legal risk, and signals such behavior is acceptable. Handling it professionally protects the organization and its employees.

Example Scenario and Script

• Context: An employee, Ben, was overheard discussing confidential client contract details with a colleague in a public cafeteria. A manager from another department reported it to you. An HR representative is present in the meeting.

Manager Script (Factual, Direct Approach):

"Thank you for coming in, Ben. I've asked Sarah from HR to join us. I need to address a serious report I received. On Tuesday afternoon, it was reported you were discussing specific financial terms of the Acme Corp contract in the main cafeteria. The details mentioned included the 15% discount structure and the Q4 renewal clause. This information is confidential. I need to hear your account of this conversation."

Strategic Breakdown

• Involve HR Immediately: For serious integrity issues, HR or legal counsel should be involved from the start. They ensure the process is fair, compliant, and legally sound. Their presence also signals the gravity of the situation.
• State Facts, Not Accusations: The script presents the reported information without judgment or assumption of intent. It clearly states the what, when, and where of the incident. It then directly asks for the employee's perspective, giving them a chance to respond to the specific facts presented.

Actionable Takeaways

• Prepare and Document: Before the meeting, gather all evidence and document the specific policy that was violated. Have a clear plan for the next steps depending on the employee’s response.
• Determine Consequences: Based on the investigation and the employee's response, work with HR to decide on the appropriate outcome. This might range from a formal written warning to immediate termination, depending on severity. For more on proactively addressing severe breaches, consider understanding unethical behavior in the workplace.
• Communicate the Decision Clearly: Deliver the final decision and next steps without ambiguity. Follow up with formal documentation summarizing the conversation and the outcome. This creates a clear record for all parties.

8. Redundancy or Role Elimination Conversation: Restructuring and Job Loss

Informing an employee that their role is being eliminated is one of the most difficult conversations a manager will have. This dialogue happens due to organizational restructuring, financial pressures, or a shift in business strategy, not because of the employee's performance. The objective is to deliver the news with empathy, clarity, and dignity while providing all necessary information for their transition.

Handling this conversation poorly causes lasting damage to the departing employee and negatively affects the morale of your remaining team. A well-planned, compassionate approach is essential to manage this sensitive situation professionally.

Example Scenario and Script

• Context: The company is automating a significant portion of its data entry process, making a Data Analyst role redundant. Sarah, a dedicated employee in this role for three years, is being let go. HR is present in the meeting.

Manager Script (Direct and Empathetic):

"Thank you for joining us, Sarah. I’ve asked [HR person's name] to be here as well. I have some difficult news to share. We are restructuring parts of the data management team, and as part of that, we are eliminating the Data Analyst position. This means your employment with the company will be ending, effective today."

Strategic Breakdown

• Be Direct and Clear: The script gets straight to the point. Vague language or small talk only creates anxiety and confusion. State the decision and the reason (restructuring) clearly and immediately.
• Focus on the Role, Not the Person: Emphasize that the position is being eliminated due to business changes. This is a critical distinction that separates the decision from the employee's personal performance or value.

Actionable Takeaways

• Coordinate with HR: Never conduct this meeting alone. HR must be involved to ensure legal compliance and to help answer complex questions about severance, benefits, and outplacement services.
• Prepare All Documentation: Have the separation agreement, final paycheck details, and benefits information ready to give to the employee during the meeting. This provides them with concrete information to process later.
• Plan for Logistics: After delivering the news, explain the next steps clearly. This includes how they will collect their personal belongings and how their departure will be communicated to the rest of the team.

8 Difficult Employee Conversations Compared

Turn Difficult Conversations into Growth Opportunities

Navigating tough employee situations is a core leadership function. The eight difficult conversations with employees examples in this article demonstrate a critical point. With the right preparation and structure, these interactions become manageable, constructive events instead of sources of anxiety. Each scenario, from performance gaps to behavioral issues, highlights the power of a clear, consistent, and empathetic approach.

Key Learnings for Effective Communication

The common thread across all examples is the importance of grounding feedback in specifics. Vague statements about poor performance or a bad attitude are confusing and indefensible. Instead, frameworks like Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) force you to rely on observable facts. This shifts the conversation from subjective judgment to objective problem-solving.

Another crucial takeaway is the separation of the person from the problem. Your goal is to correct a behavior or improve a skill, not to criticize an individual's character. By focusing on the impact of their actions on the team, project, or business, you create a shared context for finding a solution. This approach preserves dignity and encourages a collaborative rather than a defensive response.

From Theory to Actionable Practice

Mastering these conversations is not about memorizing scripts. It is about internalizing a process.

• Prepare Thoroughly: Always gather specific, fact-based examples before you start a discussion.
• Define Your Goal: Know what outcome you want. Is it an immediate behavior change, a performance improvement plan, or mutual agreement on next steps?
• Listen Actively: The conversation is a two-way street. Your employee’s perspective is essential to understand the root cause and develop a realistic solution.
• Follow Up Consistently: Document the conversation and schedule check-ins to monitor progress. Follow-through shows you are committed to their success and reinforces accountability.

These steps transform a challenging obligation into a tool for development. By handling these discussions effectively, you build trust, clarify expectations, and reinforce a culture of accountability and continuous improvement. You demonstrate that you are a manager who invests in their team's growth, even when the message is hard to deliver. Your ability to manage these moments defines your leadership and shapes your team’s performance.

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